Character Generation - Packs - Layout Proof

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RobBoyle RobBoyle's picture
Character Generation - Packs - Layout Proof

Hey folks,

Here is a very, very, VERY rough layout proof of the package character generation system chapter for Transhuman. (Particularly, we know the space that the headers of tables takes up is a known inconsistency.) We are looking for proof corrections: typos and other mistakes. We are short on time, so the sooner the better. Please post anything you have by this Sunday, July 7th. Thanks!

Download Here

Rob Boyle :: Posthuman Studios

DivineWrath DivineWrath's picture
Quick question. Is July 7th

Quick question. Is July 7th the last day for play testing of the Transhuman book, or do you want this part of the book done by then so you can focus on other things that will go into the book? I want to know so I can better prioritize what I do in the next week.

RobBoyle RobBoyle's picture
It will be the last day for

It will be the last day for proofreading/playtesting for Transhuman. We'll have some other material posted up soon.

Rob Boyle :: Posthuman Studios

DivineWrath DivineWrath's picture
Ok, I can allocate a sizable

Ok, I can allocate a sizable chunk of my free time this week to these playtests.

Given the time limit, I assume that you guys are not accepting any radical new ideas. I'll put my ideas on hold for now...

Anyways, are we going to see updated rules on morph creation?

DivineWrath DivineWrath's picture
Alright. I've looked over

Alright. I've looked over this file twice over already.

In regards to the layout, I think I see where things are going. I think it'll do good. Compressed and presented in an easy to read format.

Doing a quick sampling of some packs, I think I've noticed some errors at a glance. On page 11, the 1 pp Colonist: Command Staff, the cp total is greater than 100 cp (If I recall correctly, it should be 100 cp per 1 pp). The 1pp version of the Colonist: Flight Staff is less than 1 pp. I'll do a more thorough check later if no one else does.

OneTrikPony OneTrikPony's picture
Quote:Particularly, we know

Quote:
Particularly, we know the space that the headers of tables takes up is a known inconsistency.
Does that mean that package tables might have a tittle header in the final? Cause that's my major bitch with what I see. I hate unlabeled tables.

Since I'm already off topic; The Price buttons are excellent! That sweet little gradient makes them pop and the placement probably saves space. Very cool.

I'll try to proof. I'm going to work in 5 page sections.

Page 8, Brawler
"Even in a universe of talking apes and wormholes to other planets..."
Well that ends the wormhole debate :D

Page 9 Choose Packages, 4th paragraph
"For example, you can one package..."
For example, you can [choose/buy/purchase] one package...

Page 10, D100 Roll Faction.
Percentile issue: 77-78 Ringer, 78-81 Sapient
Can't have two 78's one of them needs to be changed.

Page 11, Background Packages
"...represent a character's upbringing, earlier life, and, possibly, the place they still..."
Counting commas; White, and, Strunk will kick your ass for bracketing ,and, :)

Page 11, Background Packages Skill Points
I'm just assumeing at this point that the points assigned to each skill are what they are intended to be. I notice that 1pp packages do not have equal numbers of knowledge and active skills. I have no way of knowing if there is a typo.

Page 11, Background Packages, [Hard Returns] and cell margins:
Example: Colonist: Science Staff, 1pp package.
"Accademics: (Choose [hard return?]
One) 40,"
It looks like there is an unintended hard return in the first line. It would be nice if;
"Accademics: (Choose One) 40,"
were all on the same line. Seems like it should fit within the cell margins and I don't see a reason for the break. This is just the worst example, there are many other lines where the associated rating is broken from the skill.
See, Colonist Flight Staff: 3PP, First line; "Free Fall
40, hardware: Aerospace..."

These, unnecessary breaks are going to be problematic for a reader at this font size on paper. I suspect that it's a copy/paste issue from one app to another and I hope you can address it before print.

On a similar subject; the size of the 3PP cells is crowding the 1PP cells. There is a lot of vertical dead space in the 1PP cells but it might be best over all if they could borrow horizontal space from the middle column. You might end up with fewer breaks between Skill and Ranks in the first column. And you always have at least one line to use in the middle column. (I'm just suggesting. I know you've probably played with this allready and found the best fit.)

Page 12, Drifter, description
"... or your kind of special skills were needed. You may not be as highly specialized as some..."
That's pretty klunky to imply special skills then imply that the character is not a specialist. Perhaps when the author is referring to special skills he's talking about the "Noble Tradesman" or "Craftsman" such as a vac-worker, asteroid miner, or hydroponic farmer?

Just a suggestion; the blue-collar immigrant is on my mind lately and that's what the rest of the text seems to be talking about.

Page 12. Bottom of page.
WTF?! the whole bottom of my page is just this ugly green. I'm pretty sure there's supposed to be awesome art here and I'm getting tired of waiting for it! ;)

Mea Culpa: My mode of speech can make others feel uninvited to argue or participate. This is the EXACT opposite of what I intend when I post.

nick012000 nick012000's picture
Huh. Did you remove some of

Huh. Did you remove some of the morphs from the New Morphs chapter, based on the feedback you've gotten? From what I can see, the Bastet, Battle Pod, Brainblaster, Centaur, Heavy Constructor, Infiltrator, Swift Wing, Thark, and Umibozu all seem to have been cut, judging by their absence from the random morph tables.

It looks like there's a few new morphs as well: the Cloud Skate (renamed Swift Wing?) and Faust biomorphs, the Nautiloid and Opteryx synthmorphs, and the Jenkin and Space Marine pods. You mentioned that you'd post other material soon; can you please post the New Morphs section next, so we can take a look over the new morphs before the playtest time expires?

Also, you omitted all the variant Flexbot modules from the list of Synthmorphs, though I suppose you could simply replace the book page number with an asterisk, replace the point cost with "varies", and add a footnote that Flexbots are covered in the Corebook on p. 144, EP, and in the Flexbot chapter of this book.

+1 r-Rep , +1 @-rep

Janusfaced Janusfaced's picture
I checked CP calculation on

I checked CP calculation on packages and I found some packages don't match "1 PP = 100 CP" rule, like below;

Background Packages
Colonist: Command Staff, at 1 PP
Total cost is 110 CP, but it should be 100 CP.

Colonist: Flight Staff, at 1 PP
Total cost is 95 CP, but it should be 100 CP.

Colonist: Security Staff, at 5 PP
Total cost is 505 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Colonist: Science Staff, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Colonist: Tech Staff, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Drifter, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Earth Survivor, at 5 PP
Total cost is 500 CP, exclude Neural Damage trait (-10 CP).

Fall Evacuee, at 5 PP
Total cost is 515 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Hyperelite: Scion, at 5 PP
Total cost is 525 CP, include Patron trait (30 CP).

Infolife: Emergent Uplift, at 5 PP
Total cost is 485 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Infolife: Humanities AGI, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Infolife: Research AGI, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Isolate: Separatost. at 3 PP
Total cost is 310 CP, but it should be 300 CP.

Isolate: Survivalist. at 1 PP
Total cost is 85 CP, but it should be 100 CP. I figure it should include +1 Moxie.

Lost: Masked Normalcy. at 1 PP
Total cost is 95 CP, but it should be 100 CP.

Lost: Masked Normalcy. at 3 PP
Total cost is 295 CP, but it should be 300 CP.

Uplift: Feral, at 5 PP
Total cost is 490 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Faction Packages
I couldn't find any miscalculation.

Focus Packages
Covert Ops, at 5 PP
Total cost is 450 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Medic, at 5 PP
Total cost is 505 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Pirate, at 5 PP
Total cost is 520 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Savant Async. at 1 PP
Total cost is 95 CP, but it should be 100 CP.

Savant Async. at 3 PP
Total cost is 295 CP, but it should be 300 CP.

Savant Async. at 5 PP
Total cost is 495 CP, but it should be 500 CP.

Your average, everyday, normal, plain and dull transhuman

Janusfaced's outpost(writtern in Japanese)
http://janusfacedsoutpost.blog.fc2.com/

OneTrikPony OneTrikPony's picture
Pages, 12 - 17.

Pages, 12 - 17.

Page 15, Isolate: Separatist, (Stylistic comment, may be ignored)
"You hail from one of these groups..."
to; "hail from" typically references geography rather than culture. I believe culture, rather than place, is the primary aspect of the concept.
"You [were established, were rooted, started out] in one of these groups" might do a better job of referencing the group rather than being from a place.

Page 16, Lost: Disturbed Child
"You survived the lost project damaged but intact--or at least able to mask your inner deamons from others. You are not as gifted--or as explosive--an async..."

Commas would probably be more appropriate than dashes in the underlined text.
I love the em-dash. It works well to define a sub clause in the first sentence but looks wrong in the second. It serves to highlight the adjective "explosive" but the phrase "or as explosive" is not really an exclamation or parenthetical interruption to the first adjective. It's unnecessary to set off the second adjective because, the word explosive--forgive the pun--sets itself off. HA! :D

Page 16, Original Scum
(This is a personal bitch. I can't help it I have to say this. I apologize.)
[BITCHMODE]
"More than just a drifter, you were a pioneer in the pursuit for morphological freedom."

Is that really all you have to say?
I have such an intense love/hate relationship with Scum and also contemporary Anarchistic memes. These concepts of communities of freedom from coercion based on personal responsibility are constantly subverted to pretexts for an individual to adopt antisocial behavior and license to take gross personal liberties. I know one more line of text is going to fuck this whole page but is being Original Scum really encompassed by the ability to become a furry-hermaphroditic-quadrupedal-junkie-IN-SPAAAAACE! ?

How about the concept of; "Fuck you Alliance, Consortium, Commonwealth & Republic. We'll survive and prosper in this incredibly dangerous environment because our community is based on personal freedom, (Responsible Anarchism), rather than coerced cooperation and power hoarding. We value the individual, (yes; that means YOU), and we're capable of dealing with you on any terms you like. Or not."

Scum is, should, Must be about more than morphological freedom.
[/BITCHMODE] Sorry, I wish I had noticed this in the earlier copy.

Page 16-17, Re-instantiated Backgrounds.
I'm confused that 1&2 PP re-instantiated backgrounds do not have the edited memories trait. I thought that all re-instantiated casualties would have continuity issues requiring the trait.

Page 17, Re-instantiated: Infomorph
"After you death during the Fall..."
After [your] death during the fall...

Page 17, Street Rat. (stylistic comment, may be ignored)
"...used to the ways of violence and routing around the law."
routing around the law is kind of cumbersome. I believe the suggestion is evasion but with a certain facility that also allows premeditation and preemption.
I'd suggest; 'avoiding the law.'
'Sidestepping the law' might work well as it applies to a number of contexts and activities.

Mea Culpa: My mode of speech can make others feel uninvited to argue or participate. This is the EXACT opposite of what I intend when I post.

nick012000 nick012000's picture
Also, since it needs to be

Also, since it needs to be said: Games Workshop has a history of getting tetchy over other people using the term "Space Marine", and Eclipse Phase, as an RPG, almost certainly falls into one of the domains in which their trademark applies. If it's a renamed Battle Pod, you might want to rename it back.

+1 r-Rep , +1 @-rep

OneTrikPony OneTrikPony's picture
Page 18 to 22

Page 18 to 22

everything looks good.

Page 22. Nano-Ecologist: (this isn't an edit it's just a comment)
"you support the use of nanotechnology to minimize transhumanity's footprint..."
I thought nano ecology was about and used to terreform Mars. This description took me totally by surprise. Shouldn't this be more closely tied to the barsoomian movement?

Page 22. Preservationist: (Also more of a comment than an edit.)
"...transhumanity is recklessly despoiling thousands of exoplanets..."
Isn't, "Thousands" a huge exaggeration? I don't remember Gatecrashing indicating that we had traveled so far through the gate network. The gate topology map seems to indicate otherwise.

Page 22. Reclaimer; 1PP package
the text in this sell needs to be bottom... (justified? cant think of the correct term right now), It's crowding the PP cost button.

OK I know this is down to the wire I have RL stuff I have to do. I'll get to more of this later tonight.

Mea Culpa: My mode of speech can make others feel uninvited to argue or participate. This is the EXACT opposite of what I intend when I post.