Why I joined the Anarchists

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Why I joined the Anarchists

(transcipt from private VPN on Shanghai New Valley Campus)

Brain: Are you the Martian People's Front?

Neg: Fuck off!

Brain: What?

Neg: Martian People's Front. We're the People's Front of Mars! Martian People's Front. Cawk.

Fry: Wankers.

Brain: Can I... join your group?

Neg: No. Piss off.

Brain: I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Hypercorps as much as anybody.

People's Front of Mars: Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhh. Shh. Shhhh.

Neg: Stumm.

Jud: Are you sure?

Brain: Oh, dead sure. I hate the Hypercorps already.

Neg: Listen. If you wanted to join the P.F.M., you'd have to really hate the Hypercorps.

Brain: I do!

Neg: Oh, yeah? How much?

Brain: A lot!

Neg: Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Hypercorps are the fucking Martian People's Front.

P.F.M.: Yeah...

Jud: Splitters.

P.F.M.: Splitters...

Fry: And the Martian Popular Front.

P.F.M.: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...

LORETTA: And the People's Front of Mars.

P.F.M.: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...

Neg: What?

LORETTA: The People's Front of Mars. Splitters.

Neg: We're the People's Front of Mars!

LORETTA: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.

Neg: People's Front! C-huh.

Fry: Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Neg?

Neg: He's over there.

P.F.M.: Splitter!

ringringlingling ringringlingling's picture
(transcipt, cont.)

Fry: We're gettin' in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Xevi-Oxy-Martins bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform them that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?

COMMANDO XERXES: What exactly are the demands?

Neg: We're giving Levi-Oxy-Martin two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Solaris Banking Corporation, and if he doesn't agree immediately, we execute her.

Matt: Cut her head off?

Fry: Cut all her bits off. Send 'em back on the hour every hour. Show them we're not to be trifled with.

Neg: Also, we're demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of the Levi-Oxy-Martin with a dock hangin' out.

P.F.M.: laughing

Gretta: What? They'll never agree to that, Neg.

Neg: That's just a bar-- a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop her up, and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

COMMANDOS: No blackmail!

Neg: They've bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers.

Gretta: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

Neg: Yeah.

Gretta: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

Neg: Yeah. All right, Gretta, Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

XERXES: Water?

Neg: What?

XERXES: You know, Water.

Neg: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3: And the Atmosphere.

Gretta: Oh, yeah, the Atmosphere. Neg. Remember what the city used to be like?

Neg: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the Water and the Atmosphere are two things that the Hypercorps have done.

Matt: And the roads.

Neg: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the Water, the Atmosphere, and the roads--

COMMANDO: Agriculture

XERXES: Nano-Medicine.

COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh...

COMMANDO #2: Martian Universities.

COMMANDOS: Ohh...

Neg: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1: And the Martian Craft Beer.

COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah...

Fry: Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Neg, if the Hypercorps left. Huh.

COMMANDO: And the entertainment district.

Gretta: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Neg.

Fry: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this.

COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Neg: All right, but apart from the Water, the Atmosphere, Martian Universities, Martian Craft Beer, Public Order, Agriculture, Roads, Recyling Systems, and Nano Medicine, what have the Hypercorps ever done for us?

XERXES: Brought peace.

Neg: Oh. Peace? Shut up!